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Signs You're Gaslighting Yourself

September 18, 2024

Gaslighting isn't just something others do to you—it can be something you do to yourself too.  Like where can we catch a break! So, I am here to save you the worrying and give you a quick rundown of signs that you might be messing with your own head:

1. Distrusting Your Own Judgment

How to Stop Second Guessing Yourself: 5 Tips to Feel at Ease

Source: Tiny Buddha

You might find that you are constantly second-guessing yourself or dismissing your gut feelings as irrational. This self-doubt can lead you to ignore your instincts and insights, which are often correct or at least worth considering!

2. Believing You're Overly Sensitive

The 5 Superpowers of Highly Sensitive People | Inc.com

Source: Inc.

If you often tell yourself that you're "too sensitive" or "overreacting," you might be undermining your own emotions. Feeling ashamed of being emotional or sensitive is a sign that you're invalidating your own feelings, which is a form of self-gaslighting. Tune into your emotions and allow yourself to feel. 

3. Minimizing Your Feelings

▷ Emotional invalidation, when others minimize or ignore our feelings

Source: Psychology Spot 

Saying things like "It's not a big deal," "Others have it worse," or "I'm overreacting," are ways you might minimize your feelings and experiences. This can stop you from addressing your feelings or seeking help when you need it. If you feel something is a big deal, you should just consider that it just might in fact be a big deal. 

4. 'Shoulding' Yourself

How to Find Clarity When You're Confused About What to Do

Source: Tiny Buddha 

Frequent thoughts of what you "should" feel or do, like "I shouldn’t feel this way" or "I should just be positive," can show that you're setting unrealistic standards for yourself based on what you think others expect from you, rather than what is truly beneficial for your mental health.

5. Making Excuses for Others' Behavior

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Source: Domesticshelters.org

If you find yourself rationalizing someone else’s harmful behaviour and blaming yourself instead (e.g., "It's because I provoked them"), you may be gaslighting yourself by refusing to see the situation clearly and protecting others at your own expense.


Wow, I don't know about you guys but I find myself doing a lot of these things. Realizing you’re doing this to yourself is step one. From there, it’s about giving yourself a break and starting to trust your thoughts and feelings more. You deserve it! I need to work on this myself too!

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