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How to Love Yourself

February 11, 2025

Sometimes it's hard to see the good in yourself and hard to love yourself genuinely. That's why I went searching for some motivation and tips to overcome this slump I am in. I recently read an article by therapists on how to actually love yourself—without all the cheesy stuff. So, I figured I’d break it down and share the good bits with you.

1. See Self-Love as a Journey, Not a Destination

Self-love isn’t a finish line you cross and boom—you’re done. It’s more like a daily practice that changes over time. Don’t stress if you don’t always feel all warm and fuzzy about yourself; that’s totally normal. Think of it as aiming for self-acceptance or even just neutrality on those tough days.

TL;DR: Self-love isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s a daily practice.

2. You Can Love Yourself Without Loving Your Situation

We’re often our harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossible standards that we wouldn’t dream of applying to our friends or family. Instead of waiting for everything to be perfect, try to accept where you are right now. Self-love doesn’t mean you have to be thrilled with everything going on in your life; it’s more about being okay with who you are despite the chaos.

Teuku Rengga Felamona on LinkedIn: Your biggest critic is yourself! Don't  be too hard on yourself, enjoy…

Source: Linkedin

TL;DR: You don’t need to love everything about your life to love yourself.

3. Understand the Impact of Trauma and Oppression

If you’ve faced trauma or belong to a marginalized group, loving yourself can be even more challenging. Society might send you messages that you’re not enough, and that can be tough to shake. Working with a therapist can help unpack those feelings, but even small acts of kindness towards yourself—like taking a walk or enjoying a favourite meal—can make a difference.

TL;DR: Trauma and societal pressures can make self-love tough. Small self-care actions help, and therapy can be key in working through these challenges.

4. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Self-Worth

Not everyone in your life is good for your mental health, and that’s okay. Part of self-love is knowing when to set boundaries with people who bring you down. These boundaries are key to maintaining your self-worth, whether it’s ending a toxic relationship or simply deciding not to answer work emails after hours.

TL;DR: Set boundaries with people who negatively impact your mental health.

5. Remember That Self-Love Is Worth the Effort

Loving yourself isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about creating a solid foundation for your relationships, work, and overall well-being. It’s not about being selfish or self-absorbed—it’s about giving yourself the care and respect you deserve.

TL;DR: Self-love builds a strong foundation for your relationships, work, and well-being. It’s about respecting and caring for yourself, not being selfish.

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