University can seem stressful without the right support system. During my first year, I was so nervous to meet new people. Initially, I struggled to connect with my peers, but over time, with the right people, I was easily able to build those strong connections! 

Now that I’m in my final year of university here at Ontario Tech, I’m here to share some advice on friendships that I wish I knew when I was in your position! 

Stop overthinking it! 

I tend to overthink a lot. In situations where I interact with people, especially. In my head, I often like to have a mini-script for how I’m going to introduce myself and which conversation starters to use, but it can start to feel really overwhelming to approach new people or make friends this way.

First impressions are important, I do agree with that. And yes, it can be pretty intimidating to initiate a conversation, but trust me when I say this, you’re not the only person feeling nervous. People in university desperately want to make friends and meet new people, and they themselves are trying to start conversations as well. So don't put too much pressure on yourself if a conversation doesn’t go to plan. 

Approach people

This can be really intimidating to do if you’re a shy person. I am a shy person, and it was a bit of a challenge for me to approach people on campus. But over time, I got more confident once I joined clubs and leadership initiatives, and communicating with others became intuitive. 

Friendships don’t come to you so easily, so you really have to make the effort to go up to people! One place where it can feel less awkward to do so is at Orientation. Everyone in the room is generally new and hasn’t formed their friend groups yet, so take advantage of these opportunities and go talk to them!

Join clubs that you’re passionate about 

I met my friends through clubs! When you join clubs that you're passionate about, you’re more likely to come across people who share similar interests to you. Whether that’s a hobby, sport, a service-oriented or academic initiative, you're bound to find a student-led club that best aligns with you! 

Form study groups in your classes!

During the first week of classes, really try your best to get comfortable around the people you sit with. You ideally want to know a few people in your classes, as that makes the course more enjoyable and less stressful. By doing so, you can form study buddies and have peers you can rely on when you need notes or support. 

Embarrassment isn’t worth caring about 

I know that can be a weird thing to say, but collectively we all fear embarrassing ourselves. We overthink and criticize our own choices so often that we lose out on so many connections and opportunities. So I’m here to tell you to stop caring and just be yourself! Your true friends will accept you for who you are!

Focus on building real connections and not temporary friendships 

I know when you start university, there's this urgency that makes you feel like you need to find your friends right away. But there are risks to that. As humans, we need to connect with others, so we may come across friendships that can be temporary, and that’s okay.

Friendships are incredibly important, so really shift your mindset to build real connections rather than temporary ones to avoid loneliness. Develop deep bonds with peers who genuinely appreciate your presence and with whom you can be vulnerable. University is no easy feat, and you’re bound to come across challenges, so choose the friends who will be there to support you every step of the way. 

To all the lovely people whom I call my friends, thank you for being my favourite people and for making the hard days worth it :)